Loving Our Priests: Embracing Respect and Boundaries

+JMJ+

Catholics are called to love and respect our priests for their vital role in the spiritual community. Priests dedicate their lives to serving God and guiding the faithful. They administer sacraments, provide counsel, and offer spiritual leadership. By loving our priests, we acknowledge their sacrifices and the essential role they play in fostering our spiritual growth and connection to God.

Priests are central to the Catholic faith. They act as intermediaries between God and the laity. They deliver the sacraments that are fundamental to Catholic life, such as Baptism, the Eucharist, Confession, and Anointing of the Sick. They oftentimes also offer guidance and support during critical moments in our lives. Their commitment to living out the teachings of Christ and shepherding their congregations through life's challenges makes them indispensable.

While the priesthood is indeed a tremendous gift, it also entails significant personal sacrifices (spiritual warfare, personal sacrifices, emotional and spiritual burdens, and celibacy just to name a few.). This dual nature of both gift and sacrifice underscores the depth of commitment and devotion required of those chosen men called to the vocation of the priesthood. Both priests and parishioners can be vulnerable in relationships that blur the lines of appropriate conduct. Priests should be especially aware of the personal closeness they have with their parishioners and be sure to preserve their spiritual focus. Emotional or physical closeness that crosses boundaries can distract from this focus and have unintended negative consequences.

We are called to love and respect our priests. We are called to help them and support them in various ways. However, no matter how close we become with any priest, it is still crucial to maintain appropriate boundaries. For example, loving our priests does not mean we need to be physically close to them or hover over them. Boundaries are necessary to protect both the clergy and the laity. They help prevent situations where misunderstandings or inappropriate behavior or unhealthy feelings could occur. Boundaries help to ensure a healthy, respectful, and holy relationship.

For example, while some of us like to express affection through physical contact, we should respect if some priests are uncomfortable with this. Hugs, for example, are not necessary especially when a priest is alone with a parishioner. Considering the scandals the Church has already endured, we should be careful to avoid even the appearance of impropriety. This is a sign of love and respect for ourselves, our fellow Catholics, and for the holy office of the priesthood.

Priests are human beings, but they should never be viewed as “just another guy” or “one of the guys.” Maintaining boundaries respects the humanity of priests. They do need personal space and time to pray, recharge, and reflect. By keeping appropriate boundaries, we allow them to fulfill their duties more effectively without the pressure of constant oversight or intrusion into their personal lives.

I also want to clarify that this is not related to clerical abuse. That is a separate topic entirely. Abuse always involves a predator and a victim. Here, I am referring to situations involving two consenting adults who, for various reasons, may unintentionally bring scandal upon themselves and the Church. In an abusive or toxic situation, one person is grooming/manipulating the other.

In conclusion, Catholics should love and respect our priests for their significant role in our lives. While recognizing their importance, we must also maintain appropriate boundaries to protect both priests and ourselves, thus ensuring a respectful and healthy relationship. By doing so, we uphold the integrity of our faith community and support our priests in their mission to serve God and His people.